I moved!!!

beingryan.farbnode.com
beingryan.farbnode.com
beingryan.farbnode.com
beingryan.farbnode.com
beingryan.farbnode.com
beingryan.farbnode.com
beingryan.farbnode.com

I'm moved

Come visit my new Blog.

http://beingryan.farbnode.com
http://beingryan.farbnode.com
http://beingryan.farbnode.com
http://beingryan.farbnode.com
http://beingryan.farbnode.com
http://beingryan.farbnode.com

I'm pretty much done here. I moved my blog posts over.

New domain name

Dan and I signed up for a new domain name.

http://www.farbnode.com

For now it points to here. We are currently searching for some hosting places.

I Need Your Help

Following everyone else's lead I think i'm going to start my own blog page.

I need a domain name though.

What is a good one for me? Most likely going to be a .com

I want one that's easy and (Semi)professional.

I will probably move my blog there and stuff.

What do you think it should be?

Thanks.

Sing Me a Song

For a change of pace my friend Steve (the guy from last post) asked if I wanted to go out to a local coffee house for open mike night to support some guys from a band I know. During school Steve, who plays the drums, Lead Singer Kid, who plays the guitar and sings (duh). Me? I like to play guitar and love to sing. I'm always singing. Be it backup or lead, I'm down.
Anyway, during school we got to play a little and sing a little and just have a good time to take the edge off school and personal problems. That was a year or two ago.

More like two.

There was always talk of starting a band. First it kind of started with us three. That went nowhere quick and ended fast. The lived too far from me for it to be something worth spending time with. Then Steve and Singer Kid, but Steve's dad didn't like the drums.

2 Years passed of silent writing of independent songs. Singer Kid got with some other guys and pulled it together. Last night they played out. It was Singer Kid's first time in front of the audience. I couldn't stay to watch it though. You know, work and all.

I met dozens of local artists trying to break into the scene. Some with great voices and amazing playing talents, others with terrible voices and horrible playing talent.
Throughout the night I just sat there listening to the chatter of what songs sound best this way, what voices sound worse that way. I thought, "That could be me". I love to sing. I love to write music. I love to play music.

I don't want to be famous. That's not my style. I'm not a fame type of guy looking for false reassurance of my life. I just want to sing and be heard. Heard for what I'm trying to say and not how I look. Heard for the music I can play, not how good I am at playing a crowd. That means nothing to me. I don't want to release a CD or play huge gigs.

I've been talking for a while now about throwing some songs together and going to an open mike night. Get myself out there and bust some songs out. Help people play, sing and hum our way through their song. I feel good when I do that stuff.

It's just another thing to take up my time. I'm going to start writing more songs and we'll see.

Honestly.

I'm not giving up on the blog. I refuse!
I took Friday off from work. I spent it doing basically nothing. I think I slept in and went out to eat 3 or 4 times. My girl and I watched some movies later that night and went to bed kind of early.
Saturday the kung fu school was closed! I finally had a full fucking weekend of doing nothing!
We got together with Office Manager Girl and went snowboarding! We went to a resort that we hadn't been to before for a little night skiing. We all had "new" snowboards and boots to try out. It was their 3rd time out and my 4th.
We headed out around 4:30 arrived at 5:15 and were sliding down the hill by 5:30. Overall everything was great! I worked on my turning and technique, as did the ladies.
The lifts still got to me. I fell off of them and on to them. It got to the point that the guys on the lift knew us and knew that I was going to fall. Around 10 pm the ladies quit and I was going to go down the hill on last time.
I slid forward and waited for the lift.
It swong around the curve to scoop me off my feet.
I bent my legs to get on the fucking thing.
The front edge of my board caught the snow and dragged my legs under the chair.
The lift continued forward and I was ripped out of my seat forward off the chair onto the snow.
The chair continued to insult me by slamming itself into my head with a loud clang.
Ouch.

After the fucking guys stopped laughing they slowed the lift down. By that point I was already on the lift up the hill. Just as long as you keep going right?
Right.

Got in the car and headed home after that one.

On our way back we decided we weren't tired enough and wanted to go dancing.

There is only one "good" dance club that we know around here. that plays decent enough Techno. It's none other than "Gay Club"! It's not called that but that's the only name that matters.
We stopped to change and check on the dog then headed out. We got there and my friend was bouncing. (He's to my right in my college pic: http://beingryan.blogspot.com/2005/03/graduation.html.), got in for free(because it was free anyway) and danced up a nice sweat.

I'm a dancing DANCING type of guy. I don't grind with the ladies and shove my pelvic region anywhere. I used to. I became the more independent type who dances by himself with other people. I guess I also dance with my girl but I just don't grope her. Not my style anymore.

It's Time

It's Time for me to shut up.

I talk too much. Why? Because i'm enthusiastic. Why? Ok, fine. I like to hear myself talk.

I talk too much and I get into trouble.

I really do wear my heart on my sleeve. I will generally tell you what I'm feeling at any given time with very little reguard to how you are feeling at the moment.

Take my interview for example. (Yes i'm still analyzing that.)
I'll try to generalize as much as possible.

• I talk alot because I get nervous and I hope my intellect will redeem my current "conversation". "Conversation" meaning: You sit there and listen while I ramble on and on about how I'm good at this or that(pertaining to the situation).
  
• I talk because I feel bad for not giving attention to something and I have to redeem myself(yet again) for ignoring that something.


• I talk because I know that I'm a well rounded person who can fit into any group and learn anything that is thrown at me. I'm not cocky, you see, I don't like those types. Confident is ok. Not cocky.

I hope that's not how I come off. Either in my posts or in real life. Kung Fu has taught me a valuable lesson. The lesson is Being Humble. You can't think your the best at something. You need to be humble and understand that you can always learn. Noone is perfect. Perfection is a problem. Noone is perfect in everyone's eyes. We all have our own "vision" of what perfection is.

Ok, off the perfection topic. See? That's what i'm talking about. This whole fucking thing is a contradiction to my post. My post is contradicting my post.

I need to shut up a bit. Be reserved, don't wear my heart on my sleeve, be a bit mysterious, let people guess, be humble.

So forget the rest of this post and I'll start anew:

It's time for me to shut up. I need to learn that.

Being Ryan

Happy first day of spring!
Ok.
I sat down a few times since Thursday to write part two and other posts.
For some reason I couldn’t get the words out. Was it writers block?
I don’t know. Maybe cause work has gotten crazy.
But, I do know that I feel sincerely bad for not posting at all.

Interview:

---

I haven’t heard back from the guys yet. It’ll be a week tomorrow.
Actually I did hear from them saying that "I have a bunch of very marketable skills" and that "We will call you back soon". That’s it. This is like one of those date things isn’t it (not that I would know. It’s been over 5 years in April!).
You have a great time with a girl and the evening is over. A. You shouldn’t call too soon because you’ll look desperate or B. Call too late and you’ll look like you don’t care.
Great. I’ve just come to realize that everything revolves around woman. I guess I knew that though.

This weekend:

---

Saturday I went to a "Multi-cultural" night at a local college. It was pretty interesting.
Irish Dancing, Belly dancing, Traditional Indian Dancing, Non-traditional Indian Dancing, Chinese Tai Chi, These CUTE adopted Chinese kids singing BINGO, African dancing and, last and least, Lame fucking Karate demonstration.
Most of the acts were great. The Irish Dancing Troupe where absolutely fantastic as were the African Dancers (1 because I know the dance teacher and 2 because they are that good).
Now, the Karate demonstration:
Let me wipe the tears from my eyes. Tears of sorrow.
****Reading prerequisite****
About me
I am a martial artist. I have been training Kung Fu for almost 7 years now and I am still in love. The school I train at is a traditional (as in tradition) Kung Fu System.
About Martial Arts:
Kung Fu is a Chinese Martial Art.
Karate is a Japanese Martial Art.
Tae Kwon Do is a Korean Martial Art.
Muy Thai is a Martial Art from Thailand
KickBoxing "started" from Muy Thai.
The differences between them are great. Different lesson, different day.
What does this mean?
It means that what is taught is a life lesson. Not only a cardiovascular-great-workout-kick-stuff lesson.
You learn how to learn, be honorable, be true, and most importantly, drop the ego. Translation: It teaches you to be a good person as well as a martial artist. It’s no secret that those things, in themselves, are the true essence of martial arts.
****End of prerequisite****

I was quite excited about the fact that there was a demonstration up and coming. It was the last bit of the night.
Througout most of the night these three Karate guys were walking up and down the aisle before and during. Right off the bat I noticed the fact that they walked with a presence that they thought they were better than everyone because they had "Cool" uniforms on and they were black belts.
Sign number one that they were going to make me cry tears of sorrow: Pompous assholes.
They got on stage and the curtains opened. Three of them were standing there 3 feet apart with a weapon in their hands. The guy in the middle (who looked like Will Ferrell) had a Bo(a 5 foot stick), The guy on the right had Kamas (curved knife things on a stick), on the left the Asian dude had two sticks about three feet long each.
The lights went off in the theater. The backdrop was a bright blue. They had no faces or bodies. Just shadows.
Some stupid-ass 70’s song busts through the speakers in this acoustically sound place.
Sign number two that they were going to make me cry tears of sorrow: Bad music.
My memory gets hazy at this point. I may have passed out for a brief second when I realized that maybe I wasted my time.
The lights come up sharply.
I think they start throwing around their weapons and stuff trying to look awesome.
The two guys on the end roll offstage.
The Will Ferrell looking dude bust out some moves with the staff that should have impressed but were clearly unpracticed and a bit sloppy. He twirled his stick in the air and moved with, what he thought, grace. The stick left his hands and flew across the stage. That wasn’t part of the form. No it wasn’t.
I, as well as everyone else, gave him the benefit of the doubt by saying to ourselves "He’s nervous". I end up tell myself "I’m sorry Ryan they just plain sucked."
Sign number two that they were going to make me cry tears of sorrow: Bad Movements.
He Finally got off the stage.
The second guy wasn’t terrible. He managed to hold on to his weapons.
Third guy I assumed would be good because, well, he’s Asian. It’s in his blood right? Right?! Nope.
This kid was a mini Bruce Lee. Not good like Bruce, cocky like Bruce. Thought he was amazing and. Wasn’t.

I started to cry.. Literally cry.
Then they started the board breaking.
Ok. I’m going to stop. I don’t want to bash them any longer. I need everyone to know that what I just explained is NOT good martial arts. It’s not martial arts at all. It’s some bullshit that these kids think makes them look cool and I’m sure it’s against their teachers wishes because it really degrades martial arts as a whole.Don’t get me wrong. Punching, Kicking, doing flips, breaking boards and all that is great. It takes skill and persistence. But don’t think that because someone rips off their shirt slaps some StaticX and screams a lot is good. It’s all misconception. Don’t make Ryan look like an ass to those who know I’m a martial artist but don’t know me. You can not represent me like that. I like to think I represent you by being a compassionate, caring, helping and good person and NOT acting like an ass. Yes I can fight, kick high, break shit and throw weapons around but what’s the point if all I get is an inflated ego?

Thanks for your time.

Interview me.

So.

The interview went great.

I'm my usual I-shouldn't-be-so-excited self.

It's a placement company actually. They will get me in front of a company that hired them to find me. Make sense? Didn't think so.

Basically they are hired by a company to find someone like me.

What's the catch? I don't know. I don't think any.

That's because I don't think.

The guy that sat down with me seemed very impressed by my skills that I have recently acquired in the past year and 3 months.

I don't know if it was flattery but he said I should be making 10 g's more a year than I do at my current job.

Interview:

---

I got lost for the obligatory 10 minutes which included a mixture of panic and wondering if I was even in the right county(rationally, it's not possible that I was in the wrong county).

I finally got there, met the guy I would be talking with, shook his had and the secretary gave me an application to fill out and led to me to a dark room of evil.

I sat down and started to fill out the application.
What's the point? I have my resume. It has all the info on it! Is it really necessary to transcript all of my resume to the piece of paper with not enough space on it? Yes, Ryan. Yes it is.

I finished 10 minutes later and waited for the guy to come in. He soon did and I stood up greeted him with a handshake, again.

I shook his hand AGAIN?!

What the fuck was I thinking? He's going to think I'm gay! I have a hand fetish or something. Fuck! Oh, Well.

Can you even have a hand fetish?

My mind was already going a million miles a second.

"So tell me about yourself", He said.

Words flowed like blood on a battlefield or swords and knives.

I don't remember what I said. I did break a sweat and I fidgeted a bit with my posture.

Should I sit like this?

Wait. Slow Down.

I'm not usually this nervous?

It's a bit unnerving though:

---

25 on the edge of the cliff know as "The rest of my life".
A new house, car etc.

This could be the true beginning of my career.
Promotions, Climbing the ladder, bonus, Benefits.