Long Winters Nap

I went snowboarding Tuesday Night.
New resort, new boots, borrowed snowboard and Co-workers.
It was my second time EVER. Never been off the "Bunny Hill" before then.
I had a blast and yes, I did get hurt. Not bad though. Well, bad enough.
I took a few nasty spills and managed to slam my head off the packed snow a few times.

Needless to say my body is sore. Mostly my arms and neck.

The guys I went with have been a lot more than me. I have to say I did pretty well despite my first few times of sliding on my ass down the hill.

I got to the top of my first run of the night.

It was quite scary for a person used to a mild slope. I think the fact that I was with other guys who had done this so frequently gave me balls through osmosis. I was nervous for about 10 seconds. One of the many things I've learned from Kung Fu is that if you give in to nervousness you WILL fuck up. I pushed the lump in my throat down to my crotch and started down the hill.

I took it relatively slow. Remember this was my 2nd time out and I still had yet to feel comfortable with turning (the direction) right.

I pride myself in the fact that I can pickup something by watching. After a few runs of watching the other two guys and I started understanding how to turn right by shifting my weight and my back foot. We moved on to a more difficult hill. More Difficult = faster and bumpier. Two things that don't mix for me being new.

Great. More nervousness. Not as much this time.

I did it again.
And again.

And again.

Gradually I got better and better throughout this beautiful night of falling crystals of stinging pleasure. I didn't have to think about it much anymore. Unless I was going 40 miles an hour, getting a little loose on steering and heading into the woods. That's when I would forget which way to move my back foot.

Then.

I got cocky.

Yep. I decided to try to jump.

First it was just a slow, leisurely pickup the feet and switch them.
That wasn't too hard. Yeah, I fell but I got used to it.

Then, as I went faster, I tried bunny hops. Just jump and lift up both feet and land. Not really that hard.

So far, so good.

Then there was "The God Jump".

I sped down the hill going 70 and, behold, I see the jump to end all jumps.
This thing had to be at least 9 feet high and 3 feet long.

I grunted loudly, "I can take it!" and smacked myself on the loins.

I slowed down because I'm not totally stupid.

I hit this fucking thing WAY faster than I thought I did.

I leaned back, bent my legs and said my prayers.







I landed on my ass pretty freaking hard and stopped, dead. My head snapped back, smashed it off the ice and lost my hat. Ouch.

I hear one of the guys scream, "THAT WAS FUCKING COOL! ".
I yelled back, "YOU THINK SO? TRY IT!". Yep,you jerk, that was cold weather sarcasm.

I got my hat and got up, brushed my body and my ego off then looked back at “Mr.God Jump”.

Turns out, the damn thing was 2 feet wide by about 2 feet high. More like “Mr. I Suck” Jump. Child’s play to a bicycle or someone who can actually snowboard.

My head hurt but I was a cool snowboarder for the first time ever.

Yeah, you try to jump. I. won't. ever. again.