Wedding
This weekend My Girl, Older Sister, Office Manager Girl and I went to a wedding. It was a student of the Kung Fu Schools. The same guy who had the Stag Party. The shindig went down at 4 pm on Saturday at a local hotel(I used to work at). Office Manager Girl was going to meet us at the wedding and Sister met us at 3:30. Of course we left at 3:52pm with a ten minute drive ahead of us.
After being cut off and barely avoiding accident from said asshole we made it to the hotel.
We barely found parking and waited for my sister to find her spot amongst the packed streets.
I ran around the block looking for her and couldn't find her. I called her on my cell and told her to meet us by my car.
I walked back to my car and Girlfriend(In her infinite astute observations. Not being sarcastic at all because I wouldn't have noticed) said that my right rear tire looked a little low. Low wasn't the word. The fucking thing was flat. Great.
Late for a wedding, tire flat, lost sister.
Not off to a bad start.
Sister gets back to us and we start jogging to the hotel.
We got there at 4:02pm and their "I do's" were just being said.
Tally: Late for a wedding, tire flat, lost sister, really late for a wedding
Holy shit! Where we that late? Did it start at 3:00 instead?
2 minutes later the new, happy, couple walked out the door.
Uh. Congratulations? I think. Yeah congratulations! Short, sweet, point taken.
Best. Wedding. Ever.
There was the obligatory 1 hour and 55 minute wait in between the ceremony and the h'or deurves/open bar segment of the night.
Tally: Late for a wedding, tire flat, lost sister, really late for a wedding, hungry.
We find some seats and we start to drink. Not alot just one.
or two.
or three.
Girlfriend went over to the bar to get me my first drink. I gave her a 10(the only thing in my wallet at the time) to easily cover the cost of her wine and my rum & coke. She came back 20 minutes later in a panic because the drinks we $16.25 and she needed my credit card.
Tally: Late for a wedding, tire flat, lost sister, really late for a wedding, hungry, not enough money.
Now, we're not in New York City and around here $8.something for a drink is freaking crazy. I can buy a whole bottle of the shit for about the same price.
I finished my $8 coke with a bit of rum splashed in and started to contemplate how I should fix my car.
I'm only 10 minutes from home, I didn't know what type of state we would be in tonight(good thing) and I don't want to be changing a tire at midnight downtown in not-the-best-area. I decided to go change the tire now. Before the hor deurves. Before I got to comfortable. Before I started having fun. I made the excuse that I needed to check on our puppy anyway so I might as well. Left at 5 pm to change the tire.
Tally: Late for a wedding, tire flat, lost sister, really late for a wedding, hungry, not enough money, gotta change the flat tire.
Got to my car and opened the trunk. Got the lug wrench.
I put the wrench on the first lug nut and it loosened without to much coaxing.
Second lug nut f'd me. I put the wrench on and started to pull. Didn't budge. Ok So I used my body weight and stood on the damned thing. Yep. Broke the casing off the lug nut.
Tally: Late for a wedding, tire flat, lost sister, really late for a wedding, hungry, not enough money, gotta change the flat tire, fucking lug nut.
I freaked. I assumed the worse, peeled the lugnut casing off and threw it on the ground somewhere and tried the wrench again. Ok, good. it fit.
Back to:
Late for a wedding, tire flat, lost sister, really late for a wedding, hungry, not enough money, gotta change the flat tire.
To be continued:
After being cut off and barely avoiding accident from said asshole we made it to the hotel.
We barely found parking and waited for my sister to find her spot amongst the packed streets.
I ran around the block looking for her and couldn't find her. I called her on my cell and told her to meet us by my car.
I walked back to my car and Girlfriend(In her infinite astute observations. Not being sarcastic at all because I wouldn't have noticed) said that my right rear tire looked a little low. Low wasn't the word. The fucking thing was flat. Great.
Late for a wedding, tire flat, lost sister.
Not off to a bad start.
Sister gets back to us and we start jogging to the hotel.
We got there at 4:02pm and their "I do's" were just being said.
Tally: Late for a wedding, tire flat, lost sister, really late for a wedding
Holy shit! Where we that late? Did it start at 3:00 instead?
2 minutes later the new, happy, couple walked out the door.
Uh. Congratulations? I think. Yeah congratulations! Short, sweet, point taken.
Best. Wedding. Ever.
There was the obligatory 1 hour and 55 minute wait in between the ceremony and the h'or deurves/open bar segment of the night.
Tally: Late for a wedding, tire flat, lost sister, really late for a wedding, hungry.
We find some seats and we start to drink. Not alot just one.
or two.
or three.
Girlfriend went over to the bar to get me my first drink. I gave her a 10(the only thing in my wallet at the time) to easily cover the cost of her wine and my rum & coke. She came back 20 minutes later in a panic because the drinks we $16.25 and she needed my credit card.
Tally: Late for a wedding, tire flat, lost sister, really late for a wedding, hungry, not enough money.
Now, we're not in New York City and around here $8.something for a drink is freaking crazy. I can buy a whole bottle of the shit for about the same price.
I finished my $8 coke with a bit of rum splashed in and started to contemplate how I should fix my car.
I'm only 10 minutes from home, I didn't know what type of state we would be in tonight(good thing) and I don't want to be changing a tire at midnight downtown in not-the-best-area. I decided to go change the tire now. Before the hor deurves. Before I got to comfortable. Before I started having fun. I made the excuse that I needed to check on our puppy anyway so I might as well. Left at 5 pm to change the tire.
Tally: Late for a wedding, tire flat, lost sister, really late for a wedding, hungry, not enough money, gotta change the flat tire.
Got to my car and opened the trunk. Got the lug wrench.
I put the wrench on the first lug nut and it loosened without to much coaxing.
Second lug nut f'd me. I put the wrench on and started to pull. Didn't budge. Ok So I used my body weight and stood on the damned thing. Yep. Broke the casing off the lug nut.
Tally: Late for a wedding, tire flat, lost sister, really late for a wedding, hungry, not enough money, gotta change the flat tire, fucking lug nut.
I freaked. I assumed the worse, peeled the lugnut casing off and threw it on the ground somewhere and tried the wrench again. Ok, good. it fit.
Back to:
Late for a wedding, tire flat, lost sister, really late for a wedding, hungry, not enough money, gotta change the flat tire.
To be continued:
posted by Ryan at 3/14/2005 11:56:00 AM
8 Comments:
surely the tale can't possibly get any worse...???
I'm concerned about the "happy couple" getting married on an obvious "Day from Hell".
that is great, I can't wait to read the rest!
I like this story. Can't wait for part two.
Good grief. You are more patient than I would have been under those circumstances.
I'd have been a white girl freakin out in the middle of the street.
Sorry for your troubles, but this is hysterical! Must finish it soon!
Hilarious! And kind of brings up a zen question...were the $8+ drinks your punishment for being late, or was being late your punishment for the $8+ drinks?
you'll see
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